Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Big Fat F!!!

So, it's time for me to renew my driver's license... I haven't had to go in for the last two renewals, and the DMV makes me come in to give a thumbprint, take a new picture (sweet with my LONG hair!), and take a vision exam.  No biggie.  Been driving with no DMV drama since I was 16.

I go in with an appointment -- a MUST out here in LA County --  I get in, wait maybe 10 minutes, they call my number, and I take my vision test -- with my contact lenses in, naturally.

"Read the last line you can read on the chart."

I knock out the smallest line, no problem.

"Cover your left eye and read the smallest line you can read."

No problemo.  Bam, smallest line again.

"Cover your right eye and read the smallest line you can read."

Uh... well... I can't read any of the chart.

"Can you read the first line?"

Um... nope.

"Okay... so you failed the vision test.  You need to take this form to your eye doctor & get it filled out."

Come again?  Form? Wha?  I've been driving for 23 years, and this is the first I've heard about a form.

"You have to have 20/40 with both eyes... AND 20/40 in one eye alone... AND at least 20/70 in the other eye alone.  I can't test your left eye, so you have to get the form filled out."

Sooo, what happens if I DON'T have 20/70 in my left eye?  Because I can tell you right now, I don't.

"Your doctor will have to explain on the form what the problem is & then we'll make a determination."

You are shitting me.  (yep, I actually said that.)  Is this a new thing? I don't understand... I don't drive with only my left eye.  I drive with BOTH eyes... specifically the right one, which works just fine.  I couldn't make it to the car in the first place with just my left eye.  I got my license at this very DMV when I was 16, and I've been driving with this one eye ever since.  No doctor form. *just begging*

"Let me look in your records... this isn't new.  I don't know how you passed before if your eyes have always been bad.... nope, no form on your record.... that's weird."

Oh well, I guess I'll call Dr. Kelsey & get the form filled out.

I call Dr. Kelsey's office... he won't be in until the afternoon... I go in that same afternoon & get an eye exam.  Dr. K knows me... he knows my vision history... he knows all about my sad left eye.  He still goes through the motions with me every appointment:  "1 or 2... 1 or 2... 1 or 2.... okay, don't worry about it."  LOL.    My mom told me as a child I memorized the eye chart.  I would rattle off the letters & Dr. Kelsey would be impressed... until she busted me: "JoLai can't see that chart! She memorized it!"

Dang, I should have thought to memorize the lines while I was waiting at the DMV, but I had no idea my bad left eye would cause me to fail the test!  *making mental note for next time...*

I've been literally "blind in one eye, can't see out of the other" my whole life.  I see pictures of myself as a little girl with no glasses, and I wonder how I made it through those first 3 or 4 years of life in such a blur!

Come to think of it... I don't know how any of the Draper Girls got around as kids... I don't think any of us could see!  LOL!

Probably the most "telling" picture... squinting that left eye... I still do that today.

Still squinting...

Are you wondering what happened with the form?  Dr. Kelsey is working on it.  He assures me I'll be able to take it to the DMV and drive away with a passing grade.  I have a temporary license that will last two months, and I have to bring the completed form back within that time.... *fingers crossed*


1 comment:

  1. OMfrickinG!!!!! I am never ever going to Los Angeles for a license! I am now banished to Georgia. That's terrifying, dude!

    And how sad are those little pictures of you squinting? Awww pumpkin!!!!

    Can't wait to see you soon. . . .Mizzolina